Ends of the earth.

I watched The Fault In Our Stars on Friday. Oh wow. I was hysterical. I think it is partially due to the fact that during those intense moments I imagine all the people who have suffered through similar things and that's when I get far too emotional. Then on top of all this sadness I watched Now Is Good. It follows a similar storyline as the TFIOS and also brought me to tears. What I wanted to tell you though was the fact that during the movie the girl, Tessa, makes a list of things she wants to do before she dies. At that part my friend whom I was watching it with asked said: "Bella if you were dying would you also do all those crazy things?" And I just replied by saying: "We are dying." I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth but I realised the truth behind it. I mean what are we afraid of? Why can't we make those lists for every week of even every day- dying or not.

Free falling paradise

Its Funny Bunny's birthday today. I can't believe you're 18. It feels like the other day when we just started high school. Time flies when you're having fun they always say. Anyway I can't express how excited I am about the fact that we'll soon be able to start living our lives as we want to, and hopefully together.I counted the other day and I have known you now for almost 7 years. I still remember how I thought you didn't want to be my friend and you thought I didn't want to be your friend. I don’t think I will ever forget that day , for that day built a friendship that I hope never ever fails us.

I just wanted to let know you that you mean the world to me and I can’t imagine what my life would be like, without my bunny by my side.You have always been my inspiration. My inspiration to be a better person and my inspiration to live life slightly more freely. Just like you seem to do. There are so many days where I miss you so much but don’t want you to call because hearing your voice honestly makes everything so much harder.

Remember that day we thought we were cool enough to invite all the “cool” kids to a party which we never threw.  And we even ate all the food that we bought for all the guests. Looking back its actually really sad because I mean now we realise how much we actually despise people like them and we would never go to their parties ever again. Well then again looking back at those parties. It was pretty fun. I mean always being the girls to jump in the pool and getting everyone to dance with us.

Recently though I keep thinking back to the holiday in which you came to visit me ( and all those strange things happened) and it really was one of the best holidays I have ever had. It just made me realise that you are my one and only true best friend.

I was watching blue valentine the other day and when it came to that part where he talks about potential and it actually made so much sense. I screenshotted the part for you:

Why is it so important to make decisions? Everybody wants us to make all these decisions that will determine OUR lives, so why do they feel it’s necessary to “interfere” and give us all this advice which we can't even accept because we don’t even know who it is we are. I  mean I still can’t tell someone what my favourite colour is. Well all I am trying to say is that I hope we both find our paths next year and that they can connect in some way. I really do feel as though we are destined to do something BIG and something TOGETHER. I also hope that you do something special today even if it just sitting in your room with Mew, remember that you are honestly the most fantastic person out there and you deserve everything if not more. 

I love you with all my heart Bun. 

                                                                     (bellie-bun) 

As if...

Clearly I am on a study break although I have pretty much been procrastinating the entire morning.
my morning started like this :
10:00 woke up
11:00 made tzatziki and haloumi
11:30 made vanilla chai tea and finally laid out a well structured study agenda for the day
12:00 studied one section!!!
12:30 realised it was lunch again so decided to make pumpkin fritters
13:00 danced around my room
13:15 opened the laptop of doom
14:00 its 2 pm and I have been on my laptop ever since.

 I even researched why it is that we procrastinate. I actually found some pretty interesting facts

• We procrastinate because we fear imperfection and failure. 
• Working hard and then not getting the result - so rather not work and therefore be able to rationalise and say that it wasn't a true test of your abilities. 

These were just some of the reasons but I think it is well suited to myself.

Holidays are coming up though and this means I can visit you again and we can finally plan our december holidays.
Seeing as we are stuck with quite the dilemma:
a) go overseas
b) go to RAGE (end of matric festival)
c) go somewhere in South Africa
The problem is...everything is becoming fully booked and far too expensive.

Maybe someone somewhere reads this post and can help us decide.

Also I really wouldn't mind having one of these faux fur coats for Cape Town's icy winter:

                                                                       (bellie-bun)

Sadness to feed the soul

Today saw an ocean of tears and not because I wrote the worst physics paper, I was just happy I had that over and done with. I really couldn't care less about school at this point which is actually so bad but i guess after 12 years you just get to this point.

No the reason I was crying so much today is due to the two most beautifully sad movies I just happened to watch today. I dont want to say too much because well I really recommend that you and whoever else reads this takes the time to watch them, you wont regret it.

The first one is called The Immigrant, it really broke my heart well both broke my heart, both movies show the terrible effect of war and how cruel people can be and they both sort of made me feel ashamed to be a part of the human race. The other one is called Twice Born and it definitely goes up there with my list of favourite movies, quite possibly number one.

bun to bell