thoughts that keep me up all night, thoughts...

Okay so you probably saw that i'm busy writing a post about existentialism but i want to do much more research before i go ahead and post it but in order for you to better understand how i feel about the topic, i have decided to share with you, something i wrote in my diary:

"And i look up at the night sky and wonder, what are we doing? We are microscopic beings and yet we let even smaller things control how we feel. How did we allow society to mess with our minds to such an extent that we don't even think to question the point of it all? We just accept that this is how it's supposed to be. I think we are all born knowing our exact purpose  until we are three. Why three I say? Because that is the age when most of us start with our school career and our once pure minds are filled with unnecessary information. Our whole sense of what life is supposed to be is lost.

I don't know i guess i'm just procrastinating but it makes sense still. And now i'm off to study to even further pollute my mind."

- 1 May 2013 (this is the first  time i share something from my diary with anyone)

(bun to bellie)

rappers make my days

Okay so we got a new art assignment today:  we have to draw a portrait of anyone we want and while we were sitting in class mam told us to think of who we want to draw and start looking for pictures so long and I was obviously listening to rap so that's sort of when I decided that I want to draw a rapper. I got all these really coooool pictures of even cooler rappers (I wanna marry all o' them, haha but SERIOUSLY) anyway so i love the pictures so much that I just have to SHOW you.

                                       

asap rocky

asap rocky

joey badass

kendric lamar

asap rocky

tyler the creator

(bun to bellie)

love, i miss you

Ahh Isabella I don't think you understand how much I miss you and I don't want to call you because well it's just not the same. I want to be with you and dance and eat too much food and lie on your bed staring at the ceiling talking about how we wish we were famous and making all sorts of amazing plans for our future. I just want to see you again, okaaay, because I just get too sad without you and end up sleeping my life away x

look what i found:

the beginning of a wonderful day with you and your HILARIOUS brother

(bun to bellie)

Weekend is the weekend and its sunny in the park.

I had a splendid long weekend. We road tripped up the west coast and stayed over in a small town. The next day we went to look at the flowers which only bloom this time of year. It felt so good to be away from home.

Namaqualand daisies 

Well that was my productive long weekend. And it's Tuesday again although it feels like it should be Wednesday already. I guess I'm just already looking forward to the weekend. Oh that reminds me last week I went to the fashion week at the CTICC and it was honestly quite disappointing I suppose it's because I live,eat and sleep FTV. The men's section was good, which is ironic. Haha. This brings me to my next thing. It's so amazing how we are both doing a fashion show. I finally decided on who I would like to be for the MTV world stage theme , Jessie J , I honestly don't know her music too well but you're right she has a cool style. I'm going to buy a black wig and get really nice shoes. I'm actually really excited. We going to approach shops this weekend for clothing. I hope yours is lots of fun

Jessie J x 

(bellie - bun)

fashion school

Okay so I just saw this add on ftv and its soooo cool and Daphne is in it which immediately makes it 100 time better.

(bun to bellie)

cats

Okay so as you already know I have art and my next painting is of a cat so had to get all these pictures of cats and they are so purrrfect that i just have to share them with you:

(bun to bellie)

degenerate beauty queens

lua by bright eyes

"...and i know you have a heavy heart; i can feel it when we kiss

So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it

But me I'm not a gamble you can count on me to split

The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won't exist.

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black

You just keep going to the bathroom always say you'll be right back

Well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad

But what's so easy in the evening, by the morning is such a drag.

I've got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train

If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same

We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain

But what was normal in the evening, by the morning seems insane..."

Do these lyrics also make you want to cry? I've always said I wished I was more messed up because people don't write songs about girls like me. And although these lyrics give me heartache something in me still sort of wishes I was this girl. 

some pictures i found of girls that should have songs written about them:

(bun to bellie)

Skater girl

I've rediscovered my love for longboarding and so I obviously also rediscovered some longboarding films

Here is one I absolutely love : 

(bellie - bun)

the most amazing thing everrrr

okay so i just stumbled upon my new favorite thing:

moodstream

(bun to bellie)

cleanse

Ahhh I’ve been eating such an absurd amount of junk these last couple of days and I have literally been doing no exercise whatsoever, it’s actually so disgusting. I feel like such a cow. And my bedroom is sooooo messy, so that makes me a slobby cow! But I’ve decided enough is enough so I have to get my shit together.

My plan of action:

1.  Put on some deep house (which I’ve become so obsessed with btw, it makes my life along with you of course).
2. Clean my room and get rid of all the clothes no longer wear, it’s going to be tough but worth it I think.
3. Set up an exercise plan, and try my best to stick with it, ahhhh. I really need to firm up, JEEZ! 
4. Go on a major cleanse!  Which will consist of:
   - Eating nothing but raw fruit and veg.
   - Drinking lots of water, with lemon and cayenne pepper, this apparently speeds up your metabolism.
   -  Then after doing this for five days I will do a liver cleanse thing with my mom, YUCK!!!   

why can't I be one of them??

(bun to bellie)

material girl

okay soo these are just all the things that i want 

.jfkjsdlafrtfj.

that exact beanie oh and those shoes and too many gold rings of any sort

(bun to bellie)