There is not a single expression that has explained my situation as clearly as this. Whenever I gain something in life I loose something else and everyone I bring into my life I hurt and push away.
Basically I ditched a friend for a boy. I don't know how many times, leading up to this day, I knew how awful it is to that to someone. I don't even know where to begin to fix this. My only conclusion is that I should let all these people that I keep hurting live their lives without me because I'm polluting their lives like a greenhouse gas pollutes our environment.
Reading over what I have said keeps making me think that it really isn't such a big deal I mean people go through far far worse things than this and hurt far deeper than I am assuming I am right now. But somehow I just can't seem to feel like everything is going to be okay and I feel as though this has taught me something about myself that I was hoping would never be true.
I feel like watching Palo Alto and pretending like I am nothing and that all these problems will just melt away. I want to block out everything and everyone
(bellie-bun)
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