No more second chances

It's so awful I still don't feel like they are addressing me when teachers say matrics. It's like I know it's me they are talking to but my whole self just doesn't want to accept that this is my last year that there are no more second chances, in the academic aspect of my life at least. This is it. 

And I'm scared so scared for what's to come with finals and all but at the same time I'm just numb and I literally have no emotion. Although I know I have to give it my all now cause well as I said there are NO MORE SECOND CHANCES! Everything I do now is final and dictates my future. Even though right now I feel I don't even have a future and that I'm just going to stop existing one of these days. But having said all that I still can't manage to give my all and part of me hates myself for it while another part of me couldn't care less about anything. 

We have so many tests that just popped up in the last minute it's as though all the teachers just realized "woah it's almost the end of the term and these kids look so stressed out but let's stress them out some more, just for kicks." I'm writing chemistry, which I only found out about on Wednesday, today so I decided to wake up at 4am to study cause I was just too exhausted yesterday 

and well this is my study brake. 

Also I'm just getting more and more freaked out everyday because I still don't know what I'm going to do next year ahhh all this stress of tests and my future is going to drive me mental.  

Jai Paul - Btsu

My new favorite soooong. I've been listening to it an obscene amount lately and the feeling the song gives you pretty much sums up what my mood has been lately hahaha I hope you don't feel something completely different to what I feel cause that will just be awkward haha but I sort of know you'll get it cause well you are you and I am me and we aren't just ordinary friends aha   

Why can't we just be famous and chill with jayz and yeezy? 

Bun to Bellie